unclefather:

brokendildo:

what if u were laying in bed and then stretched ur hand up and something hi5’d u

i’d move to a different continent because i don’t fuckin play like that

mrs-mojo-risin-blues:

tomatogami:

im sorry but i only listen to real music

image

Only B.C. kids remember this

couple-of-dumbasses:

leviisacutelittleshit:

colourfulpantsandarainbowhat:

beggars-opera:

colourfulpantsandarainbowhat:

WHY DO PEOPLE CALL IT FUCK, MARRY, KILL WHEN THEY COULD CALL IT BED, WED, BEHEAD

easy there henry

whos henry what thef uck?

*faint laughter from Britian*

*history teachers crying*

(Source: felixdawkins23)

magicconchshell:

is it too late to wrap myself up like a baby and drop myself off on a billionaire’s doorstep 

colfersaurusrex:

I couldn’t care less about your religion or sexual orientation or race or whether you’re a virgin or have slept with 400 people or have done time in jail

but the moment you eat my leftovers without asking that’s when i decide you’re a terrible person

(Source: rexuality)

echoesofoswin:

leonkuwatastonguepiercing:

mukuroikusabaka:

finish this sentence: m

y body craves for the touch of mashed potatoes, the soft white flesh of the vegetable sliding over my body. i havent slept in fifteen days. only the beautiful rapturous gooey white semi solid plant matter inspires me to continue living. sometimes i like to imagine that the mashed potatoes have accepted me as their loving partner. oh can i dream.

What the actual fuck